They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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