Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
