As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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