Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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