Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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