So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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