So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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