Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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