fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
pray to the hookup gods
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
