his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
