your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
