it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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