lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
