I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
