I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
