I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
