Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
