I'm jealous of your bromance
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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