You really coming over, don't trick.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
