I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
