it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
