We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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