hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
