I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
