I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
