I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
