Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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