Its about making memories worth repressing
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
