Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
