you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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