i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
