We won't sleep together?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
