Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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