I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
