drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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