That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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