we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
