Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
