got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
