Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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