He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
