Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
