Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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