I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
