I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
