The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
