Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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