I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My pussy is not your playground.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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