I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
