Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
