another moral hangover. fuck.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
